NaPoWriMo Day 27 – Agnosthesia

Today I’ve embraced the official prompt of using an entry from the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows.

For three fortnights I’ve pondered

as the diorama spun-

splintering inside my fractured mind.

“I’m aware it’s a game,”

“I’m aware that it’s a no.”

I’m aware I was tripping balls

but it’s an opportunity to grow.

In that realm context brought pain,

sautéed synapses soaked in regret.

Why does everything have to relate to everything

when you’re finding it hard to relate to anything?

Yet I stood tall, I owned the wrong I did to others.

I refused to partake in cruelty even in a realm defined by it.

But now, I must right the wrongs in how I’ve treated myself.

NaPoWriMo Day 25 – Making an Elite Impact

Today’s official NaPoWriMo prompt of creating a poem for an occasion that doesn’t usually herald a poem was an odd one in that one can write a poem about anything. Nonetheless I went with previewing tonight’s Impact Rebellion main event of Rich Swann vs Kenny Omega in a title vs title match where the winner will hold both the All Elite Wrestling and Impact Wrestling world championships.

Three belts.
Two titles.
One main event.

Both travelled to Japan.
Honing their craft
in the Asian independents.

“We’ll face each other one day”.
They could never imagine
it being like this.

The forbidden door swung open
pushed forth by the force of an Invisible Hand.

Two champions walked through.
But when the squared circle becomes a shapeless memory…
… only one will remain.

NaPoWriMo Day 22 – What is Manchester?

Today I’ve opted for the official NaPoWriMo prompt of using metonymy.

Is it a bee?

Is it tea?

Is it a bee eating its tea?

Is it Oasis?

Is it the rain?

Is it euphoria that glides ‘cross your brain?

Is it United?

Is it City?

Is it the pints, the cheers and the ditties?

Is it your hopes?

Is it your dreams?

Is it a place that’s more than it seems.

From Peterloo to the splitting the atom…

it’s Manchester, and it’s fuckin’ smashing!

NaPoWriMo Day 21 – I am the hammer

Today is the first day I’ve gone without a prompt. Essentially it’s because a great development opportunity is available but it’s also one that would potentially fuck my shit up in terms of going beyond what is deemed permitted work.

This development opportunity is designed around providing a ladder up for those with disabilities and from lower socio-economic brackets.

However I have made it known that current DWP rules essentially great an aspiration premium whereby opportunities for advancement act as an aspiration premium.

This isn’t new to me. In 2008 after getting into Manchester University for my 1st attempt at a university education (which was plagued with mental health struggles) I went 3 months between signing up for uni to starting at uni without money because I was classed as student… completely ignorant of the fact I at that time had an insecure tenancy due to it’s infancy after spending the prior year homeless and on top of that having no money to in benefits to live off. This also meant no housing benefit either which meant I’d start university with 3 months of rent arrears.

This new opportunity years later after a year out of work as a chef due to Covid would double what’s deemed as permitted work. I believe opportunities designed to support the most vulnerable in society should also acknowledge the systemic barriers that mean the support offered to such people shouldn’t fuck their shit up. Be creative. Give half as a salary and half as a grant. Split one offer between two people in the same boat with the permitted work situation… £6500 of £13,000 is sure as hell better than £0 which is what I’ve had as a chef for the last year.

For years I was embarrassed of being on ESA, of my disability, and of my mental health struggles.

But now I offer a fuck you to the system and society that made me feel that way… I, am the hammer!

Apply for this grant,

get your dream job.

Stay in your lane,

you dumb benefits slob.

Volunteering isn’t work.

Domestic labour isn’t work.

Experience and exposure isn’t work.

This system,

doesn’t… work.

We’re expected to do better,

we’re expected to be better.

We’re expected to act as if

the aspiration premium of bureaucracy

isn’t a ceiling tinted with rose coloured glass.

But I, am the hammer!

NaPoWriMo Day 17 – Drink in the moon

Today I’ve opted to use the official prompt of writing about the moon.

Drink in the moon

with a big gulp-sip.

Drink in the moon

till you hear that smooth blue click.

Drink in the moon,

don’t you be a fool.

Drink in the moon,

you know it looks so cool.

He loved his friend but hated himself,

fields of gold become pyrite in stealth.

Tell me how’d you become such a fool,

hurtling at hurdles

and drunk at the school.

Faced with mendacity

he resigned himself to chastity

in light of fiery feline ferocity.

Drink in the moon

with a big gulp-sip.

Drink in the moon

till you hear that smooth blue click.

Drink in the moon,

don’t you be a fool.

Drink in the moon,

you know it looks so cool.

NaPoWriMo Day 15 – What Goodness means to me

She’s always had the biggest heart.

Starts her days as wilful as dawn

and her light shines just as brightly.

Caring isn’t just her vocation,

it’s her state of being.

Every day her thoughts of others

radiate in her every action.

Mother, wife, grandma.

With the quiet strength of Atlas

and a kindness that blooms like May.

If she’s taught me anything

it’s that goodness isn’t just a

Catholic replacement for swearing

but a choice in how you live your life.

NaPoWriMo Day 11 – The Path to Self-Love

Today I’ve opted to use the Local Gems Poetry Press prompt of writing about a time I did something against the norm.

It does no good

to dwell on how you hurt me.

But I suppose you’ll never know

how I spared you from an even greater pain.

Your best friend knew you did me wrong

when you cheated with… him.

Yet when she offered to hook me up

with any one of her friends for my leaving party…

I declined.

Unwilling and unable to hurt you in kind.

Courvoisier and peach Snapple

packed a lesser punch than losing you.

Emotional scars and stretch marks are ley lines

on the path back to self-love.

NaPoWriMo Day 10 – Trust

Today I’ve opted to use the Local Gems Poetry Press prompt.

I’m in somewhat of a fractured yet healing place right now. I’ve no idea where this journey is taking me. I just know I’ve become much more sensitive lately, and that I’m finding no humour in mockery, derision or malice. A knife edge between sanity and salvation.

For many years I’ve been guarded,

a mound around my heart

commemorating lost hope.

Yet as I work on showing kindness to myself,

this vault contains a trust

where I may also place the kindness of others.